To Chase A Wolf Read online

  To Chase A Wolf

  By Sara Kimball

  Copyright © 2019 Sara Kimball

  All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.

  To Mom and Dad,

  For always supporting me…and for knocking sense into me when I needed it. Stubborn ass that I am, thank you for those times when it took more than one. You have made me who I am today, helped me grow and learn, and encouraged me to chase after my dreams, even when they took me far away. I hope you know how much I love and appreciate you.

  Also to grandma and grandpa,

  Not just because I promised when I was a kid, but because your stories, memories, and art helped to build my imagination. Without creativity in my life, everything around me would be bland. From the invisible bear, to ‘gas tanks’ on our bikes, and every beautiful oil canvas you’ve given me to appreciate…you have shown me how to take the small things that bring you humor, joy and happiness, and make a wonderful and lasting life.

  And finally, to my husband,

  Without you, I wouldn’t know how magnificent and deeply felt love can be, and how much it can change someone’s life for the better.

  I love you, my squishy.

  Just a lot.

  Acknowledgements:

  Thank you to those who helped make this book a reality. This is short and sweet, but know that my gratitude is not.

  Thank you,

  Sara.

  From the Journal of Elizabeth Harcourt, 1795:

  I held my baby in my arms as he died. He was two years old and loved to chase butterflies, his fur all fluffy, his paws too big for him, and his ears all floppy and silly looking. Sometimes he chased them on his two feet, but he liked to do it in wolf form and snap at them with his teeth. Not that he was fast enough to catch any except by accident.

  But that sweet, playful boy was murdered, and I held him while he died. His cries of pain and gasps for air as he breathed his last will be forever imprinted on my brain. I have already lost one of my children, but that was accidental. This act…this act I could blame someone for. And I did.

  I use the past tense here, because as I write this those who were to blame are now dead.

  I put my baby in the grass, and I kissed his cheeks softly, closing his eyes, and cried over his little, unmoving form. And then I felt the wolf calling to me. And for the first time, I didn’t care how much I rent or tore, who I hurt or what I did as an animal. I let her wild. Untamed and vengeful.

  And she did not disappoint.

  As a human, I am the bringer of life. I nurture the Pack, I birthed our children. I love. But now, after all this time on the Earth, I have found out that my other half is Death. And we relished raining it down on those that had hurt our family.

  That night, after laying my son down, I ran as a shadow. I drank their warm blood and tore off strips of flesh. I let their screams of pain echo through the darkness, and I gnawed on their bones, breaking them into slivers and scattering them through the woods. Their heads I left as a warning, sitting on a log, screaming—sightless and voiceless—into the night sky.

  My Pack kept them there for me until I was done, herded close and unable to scatter. They were watching as I extracted vengeance. It was a high price to pay, as they owed me a lot, but I got my fee in the end.

  When the sun rose, I was covered in mud and muck, splattered in blood. My husband, my mate, saw me as I was, wild and feral, and coaxed the woman back. He still loves me, but I see fear in his eyes too, telling me to forget what I did and be at peace.

  But I will never forget what I can become. I will never forget how I can protect my family. And I guarantee that after others tell the story of that night, and what they saw, no one else will forget it either. And none of my children will die in my arms again.

  Chapter 1

  Alex opened her hand and let the soft, moist earth slip between her fingers. It fell into the precisely cut rectangle in the ground before her—a gaping maw of dirt and decay, swallowing its contents and depositing them into the afterlife. Numb, she watched as the dirt splattered across the top of her father’s casket, marring the glossy, smooth finish. Mitch, her brother, dropped his handful on top of hers and put his arm around her back, making her stiffen in revulsion.

  She knew it looked like her brother was being attentive and comforting her in their time of mutual sadness, but they had never gotten along. He hadn’t had much to do with her growing up, and once she was old enough to start voicing her opinions, her brother had made it very clear what he thought of her ideas—frequently dismissing them, and her, as ridiculous.

  In the past few days they had gotten along, but only because grief had tempered her argumentativeness. It hadn’t seemed worth it to fight with her brother, which was why when he kept his arm around her, she didn’t bother shaking it off. They stepped back and let the sermon drone on, others coming forward to toss flowers, or their own handfuls of dirt, into the grave. The constant ache of loss was a hard and heavy lump in her chest.

  Trying to find a distraction, Alex blinked back her tears, looking at the Pack members spread out before her. She spotted Calder and Brett, with James—Mitch’s new Beta—standing off to the side by themselves. They were all new transplants within the past year from the Everglades Pack, and they had all been promoted upon her father’s passing to Beta, Third, and Fourth.

  Her gaze hardened when she realized that the three men appeared positively gleeful, and she shot a glare at them. It was easier to be angry than to be hurt, so she let it build, directing her anger at them. While being promoted by a new Alpha was a good thing, it was rude in the utmost to show disrespect at a funeral by appearing cheerful. After everything her father had done for the Pack over the years, they could at least have kept a somber expression on their faces.

  When the sermon was done, Mitch directed Alex back to the town car, his arm still tucked around her. She ignored him, but unfortunately he did not ignore her. Leaning down, he whispered, “That’s dad’s business partner. I need you to keep quiet while we talk, it seems he’s a little old school and thinks women should be seen and not heard.” Alex barely had time to blink before her brother was steering her over to a well-dressed man in a gray suit with a black tie. They shook hands cordially, and she listened as the other man issued Mitch platitudes about loss.

  She let the anger kindle back to life, but did as she was bid and remained silent. It was easier not to fight it. The past week—ever since her father had died—getting told how to dress, who to talk to, and even what to say, or not say, had been slowly wearing her down. Last night she had packed a bag, even taking money from her father’s office safe, ensuring she would be ready to leave whenever.

  Mitch might be a confident Alpha, and he may even be a good one given time, but Alex knew that if she kept on with the Great Plains Pack, with him as her Alpha, she would slowly lose everything about herself that mattered. In the end, all that would be left would be her brother’s puppet, or his tool, and she refused to let that happen.

  The crisp early autumn air and blue sky, bracketed by cheerful red and yellow leaves, were a counterpoint to the somberness of the day. Alex stepped into the town car, and Mitch joined her, the driver pulling away towards their house. Mitch worked, sending emails on his phone, while she sat in silence. T
he temperature in the car cold from more than just the weather.

  Inside her head, Alex came up with a plan. When they got back to the house she would leave, and take her bag and the car to another Pack’s territory and petition for admittance. That was unusual, as most wolves waited until the yearly Conclave to transition, but certain situations had exceptions. Now she only had to decide where to go.

  Mitch chose that moment to speak. “I’ve arranged for an important male to be at the house, and I want you to be nice to him…to do what he tells you.” He let her take this in, ignoring the stunned look on her face, and continued. “It is important to the Pack that you mate with him, as I’ve arranged an alliance that depends on it. Don’t let me down.”

  Alex was shocked into silence, and they arrived at the house, pulling up in front. Mitch disembarked, Alex following him slowly up the steps and past the milling Pack members. She wasn’t sure how to respond to him, and knew she would only anger him by blowing up in front of others. During the short walk, she realized it was a moot point. She’d just tell him she was leaving when she walked out of the house, bag and keys in hand. A sense of disbelief and betrayal threatened to swamp her, but she pushed it aside and focused on her fury at Mitch for arranging a mating for her. She was only seventeen, their father’s body just interred in the ground, and he was already bartering her off. Her guilt over taking Pack money from her father’s—now Mitch’s—safe evaporated.

  Once they were in the house, Alex stopped just over the threshold, unused to the masses of wolves around her, who were chatting in small groups. Several young men were standing by the wooden bar in the corner of the room, drinking the eighteen year old Glenfiddich her father had enjoyed sparingly. Instead of savoring it, they were treating the alcohol like it was cheap tequila; swilling it down like it was spring break in Florida.

  As werewolf metabolisms prevented wolves from getting intoxicated unless they consumed large amounts of alcohol at a rapid pace, Alex understood why they were chugging the scotch. But she resented the fact that they were wasting something her father had enjoyed, sipping it to let the flavor marinate in his mouth. She had fond memories of sitting in his lap as a little girl on cold winter nights, her father with a glass of scotch and her with a mug of cocoa as they watched a movie.

  The memory brought another wave of sadness, and Alex decided that taking the edge off the mass of emotions inside her sounded wonderful. She crossed the room and pushed past the young wolves, grabbing a glass with a healthy amount in it and chugging it down. Keeping her face impassive was hard, because her insides were burning from the smoky heat, but she managed, and the wolves around her cheered and acted ridiculous. Shaking her head and rolling her eyes, Alex moved toward the stairs.

  She was halfway up when Mitch’s voice rang behind her. “Alex, please hurry down for my special guest.” He put added emphasis on the last word, and Alex paused her climb, turning to face him. Below her, Mitch faced those assembled. “I have the pleasure of announcing something happy today, which we all need after such sad news.” He paused for effect, and Alex blinked at him stupidly. No way did he think that by not saying anything I was agreeing to being bartered to another Pack, did he?

  But she was proven wrong when he continued, “Alex has agreed to an alliance mating. We shall be welcoming her intended shortly.”

  Alex froze for a split second, and then a tidal wave of hot rage swallowed her. “No.” She didn’t realize she’d spoken aloud until after she said it, but she had been drawing on her wolf’s dominance, and announcing a rejection like that was basically a challenge to Mitch’s authority. She swallowed as he looked at her, an eyebrow raised imperiously. He was giving her the chance to rescind her declaration, and his look told her without words that there would be harsh consequences for not doing as he asked.

  Instead of backing down, however, Alex stiffened her spine. “You may be Alpha now, but you are not, and have never been my Alpha, Mitch. I am leaving, right now, and plan on petitioning a new Pack for admittance.”

  Her brother’s wolf had come to play, and she saw the golden glow start in his eyes. She decided not to drag it out any longer. “I’ll make it clear. No. I will not mate whomever you picked. I will be gone shortly.” She turned and took deliberate steps up the stairs, ignoring the commotion of talking that erupted behind her.

  Alex never saw it coming, because she hadn’t imagined her brother to be so dishonorable. So when he struck her from behind, she knew she had made a mistake. The blow to the back of her head knocked her forward headfirst into the stairs, bruising her face and ribs on the hardwood where she landed. But soon she was too unconscious to care.

  ///

  Waking up with a headache was a bitch. Especially when your mouth was fuzzy and your cheek throbbed with every beat of your heart. Alex fought to open her eyes slightly, and was glad she was in a dimly lit area because she didn’t think she could handle bright lights at the moment. All she saw around her were fuzzy shapes. She blinked to clear her gaze, about to look around more, but she heard voices. Her wolf growled a warning inside of her when she would have called out. Stilling, Alex closed her eyes again and listened closely.

  “I don’t care what condition she’s in, Johnny. A deal is a deal. You never said she had to be undamaged.” Mitch sounded cold and calculating, cruel even. She hadn’t heard him sound cruel before, and it sounded wrong coming from his mouth.

  The nasal tones of the other male brought Alex back from her musings and she fought to hold in a wince. It was Johnny Dupree, the Alpha of the Everglades Pack. He was a slimeball, and had been after Alex for years, but her father had a very negative view of Johnny—and his Pack of drug dealing wolves—and wouldn’t even hear of Alex being put into his clutches. Especially since he had offered for her when she was thirteen. Johnny was apparently still after her, and willing to make deals with her brother to get her too. Alex felt a tinge of betrayal zing through her that her brother would treat her this way; knocking her unconscious to hand her over to such a despicable wolf. Though he had always been calculating and rigidly controlled, she hadn't realized her brother had become such a monster.

  Mitch was a different person than Alex in so many ways. While Alex thought well on her feet, Mitch was not that flexible. He was often uncompromising, overthinking his actions and their potential consequences. Most of their arguments stemmed from his slow reaction to things. Not to mention how frustrated Alex often was when he was proven right in his choices—at least in comparison to her quick judgements.

  But Alex had never heard Mitch sound cruel. He had never hit her before either; she was rather shocked at his behavior. Yes, she had been planning to leave home, refusing to be another pawn for Mitch to strategize with, but she thought she knew him well enough to know he was honorable. That he would let her leave—maybe after a large argument, but she would still be able to leave. It hadn’t crossed her mind even once that he would use force to keep her at home.

  Bartering her to Johnny Dupree—treating her with such disdain and malice. Even hitting her. This Mitch was someone Alex didn’t know, and it firmed her resolve to strike out on her own and never look back. However, one important thought occurred to her. She’d never be able to transfer to another Pack now. Her brother would just demand her back. To avoid an incident between Packs—especially one that could turn bloody—the Alphas would hand her right over. And if Mitch had made an agreement with Johnny, then her brother would want her back. She’d have to change her plans and go and live with the humans, blending in. The thought of staying and being subject to Dupree made her shudder in revulsion and fear.

  Johnny was often hot-headed and violent. He had an archaic view about Pack structure, and women in particular. The Everglades Pack males kept females for breeding purposes only, using them and keeping them inside like prisoners. She had heard through some gossip that Johnny had several women he kept in a harem for his use, sometimes loaning them out to the underlings that pleased him, or giving the
m to visitors to curry favor. She felt sick at the thought of it, and then she got mad.

  Alex’s fury at being bartered like a piece of meat helped burn through the pain, bringing her fully aware, though she lay still, pretending to be unconscious.

  “She is no good to me while she is insensible.” Johnny’s voice was softer and more dangerous sounding than before. “I was hoping for a little bit more…activity from her when I got her back to my territory.”

  “And so you shall.” Alex heard a hesitation in his voice, as if Mitch would rather not think about his sister in such a way. But still he continued, “By the time you get back to your home, she’ll be awake and your problem, and you can fight with her—or whatever you choose to do—at your leisure.”

  “Your men say she was hit so hard she probably cracked her skull. It may be hours before she wakes, and then what am I supposed to do? If I even play rough a little she could be knocked out again easily. If you want an alliance with me, I expect my possessions to be treated better in your care.”

  The whining continued on about having to wait at least a day to have his fun, and Alex tuned out the conversation and focused on herself. Her head hurt but she could power through. She wasn’t tied up—mistake on their part—but good for her. She took slow, deep breaths, filling her lungs with air, and opened her eyes slightly to look at where she was. She lay on her bed. Perfect. Her brother and Johnny were still standing in the hall near the doorway, not facing her, so she allowed herself a moment to think carefully before acting—taking a page from Mitch’s book—and her patience was rewarded.

  “Come have a drink or two. My old man had some good scotch. In an hour we’ll see how she’s doing and you can see for yourself she’ll be well enough to stand up to anything you’d like to do with her.” He paused for a moment and gestured down the hall. “She will be a worthwhile contribution to your Pack, and a promise that should you need allies, you know who to turn to.”